New Year’s Resolutions are garbage but I’m going to make them anyway


Note that I haven’t written anything yet but no longer procrastinating personal goal setting might belong on that list 🙂

I’m a cynic when it comes to New Year’s Resolutions because I don’t think I’ve ever seen one through. You might feel inclined that this fact is a direct result of my own behaviour and not a reflection on New Year’s Resolutions as a whole, and I might feel inclined to tell you to shut up 🙂

I’m not a monster: I actually do believe in self-improvement and goal setting as a means to help achieve it. I just think arbitrarily creating a list of goals at once upon the commencement of a new year is an ineffective way to do it.

According to the textbook I read the week before the final exam of the Social Psychology class I took in fourth year, people only have a limited capacity to exhibit self-control. This means that making several life changes at once that demand self-discipline sets one up for failure.

We all know the typical goals that are associated with New Year’s Resolutions, including, but not limited to:

  • getting into better physical shape
  • maintaining a healthier diet
  • creating a more organized living space
  • removing toxic people from your life
  • improving academic performance
  • spending less time on your phone
  • etc., can’t think of anymore right now

And, if there is nothing wrong with aspiring to some/all of these things, but all at once? LMAO you’re playing yourself.

So here are some more realistic New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Only text that person who has lied to you on multiple occasions, like, three more times. Saying you’re absolutely done with a toxic person is much easier said than done. Instead, give yourself a couple more opportunities to slip up and remake that mistake!

2. Buy a cute, leather-bound day planner and use it for three weeks before you remember Google Calendar exists, can be accessed from your phone, and is free.

3. Just like, clean all of the stray mugs, water glasses and food wrappers out of your bedroom then reward yourself with thirty minutes of social media browsing.

4. Read the first chapter of a book before giving up and just watching the movie/television series adaptation of it.

5. Buy new, expensive workout leggings and then proceed to just wear them as a casual everyday staple. At least you’re using them.


Fingers crossed for 2019!!!!!

Jokes aside, making major changes to your life isn’t easy and it takes a lot of work and perseverance. You may not achieve all of your resolutions as fast as you want, or at all, this year.

And that’s okay.

Comment the most ridiculous/irrelevant New Year’s Resolution you have ever made! I once decided that I wanted to be able to do the splits for no particular reason.

Coming up next: Pass off being too poor to own things as “Minimalism”



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