I know I’ve touched on the topic of post-grad dating in a previous post, but I felt like it was fitting to revisit it considering that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day was one of my favourite holidays from ages five to nine, because all the holiday entailed was stuffing Dora The Explorer foldable cards into the cubbies of all of my classmates and eating dollar store chocolate. Now? It’s a day when single people gripe about being alone, and 50 per cent of people in relationships gripe about having to celebrate/not celebrating.
No matter what my relationship status is, Valentine’s Day always seems to bring up some sort of self-evaluation about said status. I actually wrote a piece about dating résumés as a mode of reflection last year for V-Day (with my actual dating résumé attached if you want to see the tragic history of my romantic life).
I find myself situated in a weird space, as I think most recent graduates do. Apart from being wildly unaware of how to meet new dating prospects, there are a bunch of factors that make dating more difficult than I anticipated.
My future is marked with so much uncertainty; I don’t know what city I’ll be living in, what job I’ll have, or what my life will look like in three months. I keep hyping myself up to get into the dating world only to cut down the idea in the face of reality: there’s no point of getting attached to someone right now only for things to not work out in a few months. What waste of a time investment.
I guess that’s the root of the problem: timing. When I was in my fourth year of university, I dodged any potential relationships because I didn’t see the point of getting involved with someone when the likelihood of things working out long-term was slim to none. During my post-graduate diploma, I’ve done the same citing similar reasons. And it has left me very single.
Like, so so so so so single. The kind of single that has my mom sending my cautionary documentaries about “cat ladies”. The kind of single that had me looking up how to apply for The Bachelor on Wikihow.
I’ve been ruminating on the reality of my love life (or lack thereof) pretty heavily this February, and I’ve come to a pretty cool conclusion: I am perfectly content with being alone right now. I like my own company, routines, and choosing my life with myself at the forefront — no distractions.
I’m not prescribing this as a time in life to be single or implying that being single during the beginning of your career is “better”. Maybe you’re in a healthy, happy relationship that provides you with support right now. If you are, I am wholeheartedly happy for you. But this is my moment to only account for myself, and someone has to really be incredible to come into my life and change that. Maybe you’re here as well; maybe you’re sure about it, or maybe you wish things were different. Maybe you fear that you’re giving something up while chasing your ambitions. I sometimes worry, too.
And that’s okay.
Comment the worst Valentine’s Day gift you ever received! In Grade 11, my then-boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of red roses and I did not have the heart to tell him I don’t like flowers. He found them rotting in the bottom of my locker two weeks later.
Coming up next: Time is money, and I have neither