professional twitter is no fun: there, i said it

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I tweeted this just seconds before my program director followed me on Twitter.

One of the most consistent pieces of advice I have received throughout the past few years is that I should professionalize all of my social media profiles.

This is upsetting for me, mostly because I’ve been sh*t-posting since before sh*t-posting was even a real thing. My parents have wearily recounted (many times, on different occasions) all the absurd things I’ve said over the course of my life. It started when I started mixing words to be petty at the ripe age of one and to this day I will say dumb jokes to my mom, at which point she resignedly look away and pretend she never heard it.

I’ve been an avid Twitter user since I was 16. Good content creation on this platform is akin to art. The skill to put together a good jokes and quickly create context within a restraining word/character economy deserves way more credit, and most of my favourite internet personalities exist on Twitter.

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did I ever mention that I basically majored in poetry?

Social media is becoming an increasingly integrated part of human interaction and social connection. Even with busy lives and distance between us, I’m still able to my friends who are in different cities across the world; yes, we still talk on the phone, text, Facetime, etc., but those activities take time and it’s hard to keep that up on a regular basis with everyone.

However, in a single tweet, I can learn of the tragic dating incident my friend was entangled in; a single Instagram photo can let me know that my BFF on exchange in Copenhagen went for a weekend hiking trip in Norway.

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do i have to delete this from my profile be honest

As much as the baby boomer haterz think we rely on our phones too much, social media has really become a simple way to stay connected with a large network of people.

So back to professionalizing. I can see it in some places: obviously, you should have to keep it clean-cut on LinkedIn. That just makes sense. But TWITTER?

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ugh

I’m not saying that we should feel free to post anything on social media (i.e. free speech does not mean spreading hate speech; basic human rights should still apply), but making people give up their ability to express themselves online in any way that isn’t strictly professional seems pretty unhealthy.

Yeah, I could just talk about my professional activities and accomplishments on Twitter, but a) I think 90% of my followers would find me irritating and b) that’s what LinkedIn is for.

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This man pulled out one airpod to say this to me. Didn’t even ask if I was okay. Also, I did need iron.

Twitter is such an interesting forum for memes, internet culture, and jokes. It’s a place for sharing wittily crafted personal anecdotes. It allows for social and political commentary in a factual or comical way. For thought sharing. It’s pretty isolating to give up the connections I’ve forged with people over our senses of humour, our tragic dating lives, and our ability to share sub-prime stories of ourselves. Frankly, seeing other people be imperfect on Twitter kind of makes me feel less alone.

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🙂

This blog post came from this very sad place where I was scrolling through my old tweets and deleting some out of fear of being unemployed forever. I don’t know how to reconcile the fact that being a real adult means having to appear perfect on the internet. I’m exhausted and frightened by the very idea.

And that’s okay.

Comment a topic you want covered!

Coming up next: backup plan

All of my friends have left me but at least I have a bicep now

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Missed her so much I flew across the country.

During the summer preceding my first year of university, my brother gave me a piece of sage advice: don’t become friends with fourth year students, because eventually they will graduate and leave you.

Following my most human impulse, I ignored this impartation of wisdom, wanting to believe that I was immune to it all, an exception; the naïvety of my 17 year-old mind made me think I could neglect the risk.

And then one of my closest friends during second year graduated. And then the trend continued in third year.

And then I was in fourth year and I graduated. People who I used to see on a weekly  basis are now at graduate school in Montreal, living in North Vancouver, doing a semester in Copenhägen, living the big city life in Toronto with fancy jobs. My geographically-close friends and I are constantly struggling to find a time when our schedules aren’t in conflict.

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we’re sad girls because we haven’t seen each other in so long 😦

My social life was basically D.O.A. when I started working, but I think I have found one silver-lining. In my sheer boredom and ample amounts of free time, I actually go to the gym.

I literally just go to the gym because what else am I going to do with my evening? and in this process, I have developed the slightest hint of muscle definition. My experience, I fully believe, puts me in the place to develop a fitness plan to market to the masses (because, realistically, I have the same qualifications as most of the instafitness influencers out there).

BUY MY COMPREHENSIVE FITNESS PLAN: MAKE MY BOD GREAT AGAIN

1. As mentioned earlier, have no social life. Maybe, on the occasional weekend, you’ll see your limited number of friends, but apart from that you have to be SUPER alone.

PRO TIP: This is substantially easier if your friends, idk, move across the country so your ritual of going to Wine Wednesday with them ceases to exist! Instead, drink multiple cups of tea alone in your room at night!

2. Work in an office that’s located too far from any fast food locations for you to even CONSIDER walking to buy french fries. This inspires you to pack food for the day, and if you’re as lazy as me when it comes to food prep, this includes just eating a bowl of baby spinach and a protein bar for lunch.

3. Have a gym membership. You’re working full-time on entry-level/intern wages; you can’t afford NOT to use the gym you’re already paying for. You have to go. When you get there, lift weights/run/cycle/whatever-you-like-to-do-at-the-gym for as long as you can to dodge the growing sense of ~ennui~ you feel on a daily basis.

4. Rinse and repeat.

Now, many of you might wonder how I maintain motivation to follow such an intensive guide; motivation is unique to everyone, as we all have different goals that get our serotonin flowing. What keeps me motivated is that I own a ton of business casual clothing that I bought a few years ago, but doesn’t quite fit; I can’t afford to buy new clothes, so I guess I just have to get in shape :).

Jokes aside, I am in significantly better physical shape than I was throughout my final years of university. I spent the last two years of undergrad on a strict diet of $9 peach pinot grigio, Smoke’s Poutine, and pizza pockets (a guilty pleasure).

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ily ❤

I’ll be honest: there were many times in my fourth year where I thought I really wanted to get back to having a physically fit body. I’m also going to be honest to say I was wrong.

For the people who have known me for a long time, it’s no secret that I packed on a few (like 25) pounds over the course of undergrad; there are a lot of reasons behind that, including gaining muscle mass, changes in my medical health, recovering from disordered eating habits, and also, for the first time in over 10 years, not maintaining an obsession with my weight. I swear I truly would not take back any of the fun I had over the past few years even if it meant I could have had a size two waist instead.

So if getting fit and eating a healthy diet fits into your life right now, that’s great. I’m rooting for you. But if not, I’m also going to firmly encourage you to not let what your body looks like dictate your life. Have that glass of wine; eat that poutine; don’t turn down a night out with your friends; don’t feel guilty not going to the gym because you’re swamped with assignments. Your physical fitness may not be your priority right now.

And that’s okay.

Comment the best piece of advice you’ve ignored! One time my doctor told me I shouldn’t go to work because I was definitely sick, and after nearly throwing up I was forced to acknowledge that her and her 15+ years of experience may have been right.

Coming up next: professional Twitter is no fun: there, I said it