My friends are getting married and I’m still seeing guys who have Saturdays Are For The Boys flags hanging above their couches 🙃

I read poems about my (barely existent) love life at an event in undergrad and got a flower for it.

A couple days ago, I was lying in bed, eating pizza and scrolling through Instagram when something terrible occurred: I saw wedding photos of people I knew in undergrad.

There’s a weird sense of pressure. A lot of the people around me will talk about their ten year goals, with things like getting married and having their first kid included. This wouldn’t freak me out as much if I wasn’t still going on first dates with Brad’s and Chad’s who crush cases of PBR and use the term “full send” unironically.

I really messed up by avoiding relationships like they were the plague during my upper years of university. No one told me how hard it is to meet new dating prospects in a post-grad arena.

My friends keep trying to set me up with people using weak common interests that have no correlation to compatibility, i.e.:

• “You both enjoy independent films!”
• “He wrote a poem once for class and you write poems so it’s basically a match made in heaven!”
• “You both can read!”

My friend made me download Hinge, a dating app, but I also struggle to want to meet people after only a text conversation. Although, I am thankful to the one guy whose opening message was “I love you”. Hope all is good, Nick.

I’m not going to end this with a motivational message about being comfortable with being single and recognizing that it’s your time to grow. There’s enough content about that in the world. Wanting to find love and worrying about potentially not finding it is common amongst most people.

And that’s okay.

Comment your worst date ever! Because of who I am as a person, I documented mine with a tweet:

Coming up next: Bar life is not the same

 

Interviews are high-stakes first dates (and, like first dates, I don’t get many)

I took this pic right before an interview. Didn’t get the job. Win some, lose most am i rite?

Interviews and first dates are basically the same thing. You’re essentially trying to convince some poor idiot that you’re perfect. Then you wait until they’re invested in you to expose all of your flaws and psychoses and pretty much pull an Amy Dunne from Gone Girl.

ANYWAY, here’s a general process for both occasions:

1. Extensively stalk their online presence or ask mutual friends about them to get a notion of who they are.
2. Pick out an outfit ahead of time that you feel represents you as confident, cool and generally stylish.
3. Spill coffee/ketchup/yogurt on your perfect outfit and change into something else last minute.
4. Prepare a couple speaking points and topics.
5. Get a little nervous before it starts.
6. Emphasize how your views and ideas align with theirs in some way, while also expressing that you’re still different and interesting.
7. Laugh uncomfortably at bad jokes!!!
8. Talk about yourself in a way that makes you sound better and more well-rounded than you realistically are (weaknesses? who’s she? never heard of her).
9. Part ways amicably.
10. Wait impatiently for them to contact you again 🙂

 

As uncomfortable, difficult and exhausting as the process can be, the most important thing I’ve learned is that the interviewer/other person on the date are going through it as well. They’re trying, in many ways, to impress you too.

Maybe you still haven’t found your groove when it comes to being confident in yourself on dates and interviews. Maybe you’re not sure how to be your best self, or what that even means. I’m still figuring it out too.

And that’s okay.

 

Share your worst experience in a interview/dating scenario! A couple weeks ago I said “yeet” during a coffee chat with a potential employer and I need reassurance and solidarity.

Coming up next: Six easy ways to look like you have your sh*t together