Interviews are high-stakes first dates (and, like first dates, I don’t get many)

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I took this pic right before an interview. Didn’t get the job. Win some, lose most am i rite?

Interviews and first dates are basically the same thing. You’re essentially trying to convince some poor idiot that you’re perfect. Then you wait until they’re invested in you to expose all of your flaws and psychoses and pretty much pull an Amy Dunne from Gone Girl.

ANYWAY, here’s a general process for both occasions:

  1. Extensively stalk their online presence or ask mutual friends about them to get a notion of who they are.
  2. Pick out an outfit ahead of time that you feel represents you as confident, cool and generally stylish.
  3. Spill coffee/ketchup/yogurt on your perfect outfit and change into something else last minute.
  4. Prepare a couple speaking points and topics.
  5. Get a little nervous before it starts.
  6. Emphasize how your views and ideas align with theirs in some way, while also expressing that you’re still different and interesting.
  7. Laugh uncomfortably at bad jokes!!!
  8. Talk about yourself in a way that makes you sound better and more well-rounded than you realistically are (weaknesses? who’s she? never heard of her).
  9. Part ways amicably.
  10. Wait impatiently for them to contact you again 🙂

 

As uncomfortable, difficult and exhausting as the process can be, the most important thing I’ve learned is that the interviewer/other person on the date are going through it as well. They’re trying, in many ways, to impress you too.

Maybe you still haven’t found your groove when it comes to being confident in yourself on dates and interviews. Maybe you’re not sure how to be your best self, or what that even means. I’m still figuring it out too.

And that’s okay.

 

Share your worst experience in a interview/dating scenario! A couple weeks ago I said “yeet” during a coffee chat with a potential employer and I need reassurance and solidarity.

Coming up next: Six easy ways to look like you have your sh*t together

4 thoughts on “Interviews are high-stakes first dates (and, like first dates, I don’t get many)

  1. doacbw says:

    Humour writing is something I struggle with but your writing voice shines so strongly like I can’t help but smile, laugh and cringe while reading along with all of your posts.
    Your honesty is something to be valued and your audience will find this endearing and make them want to genuinely come back every week – I know I do! Keep on truckin’, girl and you know I’ll be commenting more for weeks to come!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. betterwfood says:

    I love your writing style, it is so entertaining to read and super relatable. I like you, also hate interviews a lot because I’m literally a mess but I show up pretending like I have my life together. #3 about spilling something on your outfit – NEVER FAILS, I always have to make a last minute outfit change because I’m super clumsy. Also, I hate the waiting period after an interview. I wish they could just tell you right then and there if they’re going to throw your application in the garbage or if they’ll actually consider you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The Fashion Wave says:

    I absolutely love this! I never thought of it this way but it’s totally true. Similar to the guilt some people feel when they’re dating multiple people, I felt the SAME guilt when I was interviewing at multiple places! Love this article for injecting some humour into the stress of interviewing. Thanks for the great read!

    Waverly

    Like

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